Pages

October 25, 2015

our story

assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh ~


Kalau baca blog aku dri zaman muda mudi aku dulu, aku ada buat acah2 random story with weird names konon acah anonymous. Kelakar bila baca balik. Malu smpai rasa mcm nak delete je post tu haha. Tapi xpe, kita biar je. Ni ceritanya.

Episode 1
Episode 2

Tapi tu lah. Cerita tu tak habis. Sebab masa aku cerita tu, aku x tahu ending dia macam mana. Now that masa dah berlalu, aku dah tahu ending kisah kami, i feel free to tell the story till the end.

KISAH KAMI. Maksudnya, benar and aku pun terlibat. I dont usually share my story just anywhere random seriously. Tapi lecturer aku ada cakap

"You have to write your story somewhere because when u become someone big, people start writing untruthful things about you"

So, bermula lah kisah aku dgn miss A. We were best friends. Very best friend. The bestest friend i have ever met before, yet at that time. We shared everything together. Secret, feelings, gossips, problems, and everything. To summarise, we are so close that i can confidently say that whatever she knew, i knew it too. And vice versa. 

I was young masa tu. Kalau dalam movie, my situation is was very dangerous. Kalau miss A leak out any of my deep secrets, mampus lah saya. 

Tapi, kalau dalam movie, she would be a threat for me but in real life, in this situation, aku sayang dia. Biasa lah best friends kan. Kalau dia x datang sekolah, x tentu arah sikit lah aku jadinya. Haha.

However, one day, kepercayaan antara kami tergugat. She liked this one guy, she never told me, im okay with that. That guy is my jiran belakang rumah, im okay with that too. The problem is when she found out that that guy duduk belakang rumah aku, dia jeles. Then what was i supposed to do, seriously. Pindah rumah?? Serious lah. I was cool je bila dia jeles. We still stick around macam biasa.

But! Bila dia dah mula hari hari kata "rumah depan belakang, jodoh kuat lah tu" sarcasticly, what can i do?? Everytime i replied, "awak, mak kita kelantan, ayah kita johor, kawin jugak. Dah jodoh." I was sooo pissed off bila hari hari kena macam tu dengan kawan baik sendiri. Things got worse bila miss A x bagi that guy communicate dgn aku. Im okay with that. Its not like aku contact dia hari hari pun. Kalau sterika dia rosak, dia mintak rumah aku. Kalau mak dia nak bagi makanan, dia pas dkt aku. To clarify, bukan hari hari pun mak dia bagi makan or sterika dia rosak. So, jarang sangat lah contact pun. Aku okey je. 

Masa tu, rasanya, dah tegang sikit our relationship. Sudah lah tegang, ditegangkan lagi bila that guy, in return (maybe), dia tak bagi miss A cakap dgn "mr H" which was also our gossip clique. Haa masa tu aku rasa macam, "amboi, lebih ah ni." Sebab we were like melekat hari hari, and tiba2 semua tegang because of their relationship. Aku tak suka. Langsung.

In the end, we just let them be. And kutuk mengutuk was everywhere masa tu. Kesabaran yang ada, macam dah berterabur x reti nk kutip dah.

And i admit, it was my fault for giving up so early on our relationship. 

Miss A, Im sorry. 
We once said, "couple ni tahpape"
 tapi bila awak terlibat, kita biar je. 
Kata sayang, kata kawan. 
Gaduh sikit, retak.
 Sorry.

Selepas dah dibiarkan, last2 tu, they broke up. Serious aku x ambik kesah pun masa tu pasal diorang. Lepas tu, miss A mintak maaf banyak kali dekat aku.
Aku x ingat aku cakap apa, tapi aku rasa aku cakap aku maafkan. Aku cakap aku maafkan, tapi muka aku cannot be controlled. Muka annoyed. Itu pasti.

Masih tegang. Sebab aku x reti nak control muka. Seriously, awkward gilaa masa tu. Tapi one thing aku ingat, she gave me surat, aku balas, i wrote:

"Kite dah lama maafkan awak tapi sorry lah sebab xleh la kite nak balik macam dulu. Xleh la nak share share secret macam dulu. Kite pun dah ada kawan baru. Xkan kita nak tinggalkan diorang borak dengan awak pulak kan?"

Lebih kurang gitu lah ayatnya. Masa tu, sincere aku cakap aku dah maafkan dia fully, tapi aku reti nak rapat balik. Aku nak, tapi x reti. Itu, again, my fault.

Sekarang, dah habis sekolah, x jumpa kawan kawan, i can say that sometimes i miss her. We are in good terms now. Tapi bukanlah tempat berkongsi rahsia lagi. But i can say that we are good enough that i can miss her even if we do not contact for years. 

Actually, i did contact her when i miss her. Tapi since aku x tahu apa nak cakap, i can only basa basi like tanya bila dia cuti, best x study, okey ke, etc. Pathetic kan communication skill aku haha. 

Sometime, i would like to thank her for giving me the experience to feel the hatred of being betrayed without having to make any enemy. Thank you. It is a very valuable lesson i can say. Thank you. You definitely makes up one big chapter of my life. Thank you friend.

Can i say that we were both childish kan? Hope kite boleh raya rumah awak lagi tahun depan keh keh. 

Alright. Finish. Enjoy reading.

October 11, 2015

Re-read (Sabar)

assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh ~

huih. sebenarya munculnya post ni adalah sebab aku terkejut. aku bukak blog ni this morning. checked the overview. to my surprise, semalam reader aku 100+. that is totally creepy because i did not post anything since the past 2 months (kot?). lebih weird ialah sebab hari sebelumnya i have 0 reader. the thing is, even most of my closest friends dont even know or expect me to have a blog. plus, i tell no one (dua tiga orang ade lah).

apa-apa pun, thank you kepada sesiapa yang membaca. lebih bagus kalau u could tell me what is the event yesterday that 100+ of you read my posts. it is a very good news to me but yea, the creepiness is still there. ahaks. thanks :)

okey. habis dah intro.
now, my real story.

Alhamdulillah tadi aku berkesempatan baca balik post-post lama dekat blog ni. terbaca post "mind your manners peeps". i can see betapa rendahnya tahap kesabaran aku dulu. dengan budak kecik pun nak bergaduh. itu pun boleh mengganggu keikhlasan. haih.

Ingat x kisah nabi kita? Baginda berdakwah menyeru manusia menyembah Allah SWT sampai dibaling batu, dibaling najis sehingga darah baginda bertakung dalam kasut baginda. Kenapa baginda diam? kenapa baginda x marah? sebab tiada kuasa ke?

TIDAK sama sekali! baginda telah di'offer' oleh malaikat, "kalau kau izinkan, ya Muhammad, nescaya aku akan hempap mereka dengan gunung". Nabi kata apa? Nabi kata, "Jangan... sesungguhnya mereka tidak tahu."

Subhanallah. Allahumma solli 'ala saidina Muhammad.

Nabi kita sangat tinggi kesabarannya walaupun dikutuk hari-hari, dibaling batu, dibaling najis, berdarah-darah tubuh baginda, baginda tetap meneruskan dakwah. MasyaAllah.

Kalau kita, nak tegur kawan minum duduk, nak tegur kawan labuhkan tudung, nak ajak kawan solat pun hesitate. sebab apa? Nanti kene label alim, nanti kene tinggal kawan, rasa diri x perfect lagi  untuk berdakwah. Ni satu lagi hal. tapi xpe, itu lain kali. sekarang kita fokus dekat kesabaran nabi dulu.

haa! tu lah kisahnya. kesabaran nabi. tinggi tahapnya. bukan setakat sabar, husnudzon lagi. tapi xpe, husnudzon pun lain kali.

Nabi pun manusia. Kita pun manusia. Kita disunatkan seboleh-bolehnya ikut segala aspek dalam diri Nabi. Nak cakap pasal kesabaran Nabi Muhammad ni, banyaaaak sangat. Aku bukannya pandai sangat dalam sirah Nabi ni. tapi setakat ilmu yang aku tahu ni pun dah boleh buat aku jatuh cinta dengan Rasulullah. tapi biasa lah. selalu lalai. huhu sedih dengan diri sendiri. Semoga kecintaan kita kepada Allah dengan Baginda sentiasa meningkat. terapkan dalam diri, ingatkan sesama sendiri, kita kan umat nabi :) be proud.

Peringatan untuk aku jugak :)

Ada sorang sobat sahabat pernah cakap dkt aku,

Selalunya, makin kita kenal ajnabi, makin menyampah. Tapi makin kita kenal nabi makin sayang.